A Storm Chaser's

connavar @ 2009-12-15T03:43:00

2009-12-15T09:43:38Z

problem(s)

connavar @ 2009-12-13T14:43:00

2009-12-13T20:43:40Z

i get so tired of having to talk to the public sometimes
i really don't want to leave the house today

connavar @ 2009-12-08T11:53:00

2009-12-08T17:53:41Z

No, his mind is not for rent
To any god or government
Always hopeful, yet discontent,
He knows changes aren't permanent,
But change is

connavar @ 2009-12-06T16:38:00

2009-12-06T22:38:13Z

i'm the type of man who'd, if he were a cardiologist, dream of working at a circus instead, selling nachoes and corn dogs and caramel apples to people, watching them eat with gusto and hopefully joy.

connavar @ 2009-12-03T15:40:00

2009-12-03T21:40:32Z

trying not to buy video games is hard these days
especially when its cool shit like star treks and
grand theft auto ww2 france aka "the saboteur"
download more books, read more books
i need a shave and a shower
i had to replace both my thermal couple AND my gas valve on my furnace
well, get told how to do it by my dad who kept going "you're doing it wrong" and
"hey, thats a gas valve"
but i have heat again, temporarily i think since i'm not so much so mr fix it as mr sorta fix it
i gotta clean
and everyone says its snowing
but not on the South Side Nigga!
not really anyway
and i'm about my business killing all these rappers you would swear i had a hitlist
and uhh i need to buy new jeans
and am rewatching carnivale cause i love that show
and the x-men

connavar @ 2009-12-02T15:14:00

2009-12-02T21:14:49Z

I'M THINKING OF GOING INTO THE ORGAN SELLING BUSINESS
BUT I NEED TO KNOW WHERE TO SELL THE ORGANS
CAUSE THEY MAKE ALOT OF MONEY
IN CHINESE WONTON TEMPLE DOLLARS OR SOME SHIT
AND I WANNA KILL PEOPLE
AND SELL THEIR FUCKIN ORGANS
WHATS THE EXCHANGE RATE ON CHINESE WONTON TEMPLE DOLLARS? OR SOME SHIT?

connavar @ 2009-11-30T18:47:00

2009-12-01T00:47:40Z

So let me get this straight
if I go back to school in spring 2010, one class costs 860 something dollars
if i'm over 18 I have to add 260 something dollars to that
if I want to take an internet course I have to add 270 dollars to that
FUCK
THAT
I am not paying 1300 dollars for one fucking class, let alone 1100 for one fucking class
fuck that fuck them fucking jew ass fucking pieces of shit i'm not gonna let myself be robbed that way i'd rather go do black tar heroin and get fucking aids from a bad needle and fucking die than have someone do that to me

connavar @ 2009-11-24T19:38:00

2009-11-25T01:38:55Z

i hate browsing books on amazon.com and all of a sudden its like "read fag shit like the sookie stackhouse books"

connavar @ 2009-11-24T12:06:00

2009-11-24T18:06:01Z

can't catch my breathe this morning
can't catch a break this morning

edit: i guess i get to cancel a floral order

lolroxor

2009-11-24T08:08:18Z

the lack of perspective runs rampant in an abundance of people
three-four weeks ago people say one thing, then today they condemn it
or
condemn the actions of those that say the same thing
in summation:
People's short term cyclical enlightenment are the Sunday funnies to me.

connavar @ 2009-11-22T18:58:00

2009-11-23T00:58:31Z

they always told me i was irrepressible

The black coal in my stocking.

2009-11-22T09:49:05Z

I damn you all for the sins you've all committed, seeking solace within me, and my lack of judgment. I damn you all for the sins I've committed, the solace I seek within you all, and the judgment you place upon me and my sins. I am one and the same with all of man and woman kind, and yet I am still one without and withheld from being within. I am as human as the next monster, and as monstrous as the next human. Seek me then, seek me with caution, the caution I tell you now. For I am nothing but what I am, because of the things I do, and the people I know, and the world I emulate. Seek me if you want my opinion only, seek me if you want the providence of an equal, seek for honesty, but only if you must. Do not seek me, for the howling at the moon, and the shallow pedant nature, and for absent reassurance. From me, you will not receive it. From me you will receive what I find honest, what I believe you to be coming to me for in the first place: My Opinion. The kindness I've seen for the last few years is the same as the kindness everyone else has received, no better, no worse, and I will not pander. I am mortal, I am human, I am as hollow and full of it: I am tired. Find me in dusty stacks of paper, with dry skin and tired eyes. Find me if you want, but if you don't, then leave me be world, and accept the course of your own actions and decisions, the way I have and will continue to have. To hell with your world, I damn you. To your sameness, to your unbending and unrelenting and never ending cycle of un-enlightenment, I damn you world. I will be here, with a quiet song in my heart, and the lazy breeze floating through the branches of the tree above my head. You cannot stop me world, no one can stop me. As the days get shorter, as the days get longer, as the years get shorter, I will not stop being this and believing this. Goddamn you world.
Goddamn you.
Sincerely,
Alexander Waldemar Thien IV
ps. To the end, I love one dearly, I care deeply for a few, and I am shunned by the many.

connavar @ 2009-11-19T03:08:00

2009-11-19T09:08:31Z

rainy day today
rainy day tomorrow
cold again and i think my furnace is broken
or the thermostat or both
i need to take the ac's out of my windows
i need to shower
i need to do laundry
i need to shave
i need to get chapstick, my lips are fucked up
i need to get new shoes
i'm not spending money
this video game shit has got me whipped
read for two hours, watch a total of 45 mins of tv a day
then spend the rest of my time playing call of duty
with my friends from real life
and none of us are leaving our houses really
except to sort of go to work
it's weird
and the worst part about it
is that i'm getting just so damn good at it
it makes my hands claw like though and hurt because they are not used to that claw shape
not really anyways
i don't know if i can drink anymore for a little while, shits been sucking
as with smoking
i want both but i feel perpetually like i have a cold
which is not what i want
i think about all my friends at least once a day
even the ones i don't see anymore and wonder what they're doing
and i realize time is slipping by faster and faster
novembers almost over and i have nothing to show for it really
when i look in the mirror these days
i think i look older finally
and not in a good way
far be it from me to say i'm afraid of getting older
cause i'm not
atleast, not in the physical sense
atleast, not right now at this age in the physical sense
but gosh, is it almost uphill a little bit more before all going down from here?
my uncles birthday is in a few weeks and he's going to be 60
he was a tunnel rat in vietnam
lately, when i'm looking around my rooms here i think about my uncles house
the way he lives, and i realize i'm a lot more like him then i thought
i obsessively collect specific things
i save things cause they might be useful later
i am constantly trying to do something new with my electronics
theres piles of cables everywhere
and i don't go out much, again
i go to work and come home
and besides my bouts of loud obtuse vulgarity in public and
on the internet
i mostly keep myself to myself
and i'm afraid of the future
cause if everythings moving this fast now, i won't know what to do
i need a nap that doesn't end up going from 3am to 3pm
but it will
the only difference in my life right now in living here and on the moon
is the fact that the moon is just really really dirty

connavar @ 2009-11-15T03:32:00

2009-11-15T09:31:45Z

shits fucked up when the things i own try to necessitate buying more things for them

connavar @ 2009-11-12T22:27:00

2009-11-13T04:27:29Z

I could probably solve the mysteries of the universe if it weren't for people, the internet, and video games.

edit: Oh and vagina. Almost forgot that stuff.

connavar @ 2009-11-06T13:04:00

2009-11-06T19:05:05Z

sick
bored
miss
etc.
/end

connavar @ 2009-10-31T11:13:00

2009-10-31T16:13:28Z

I still hate holidays

connavar @ 2009-10-23T14:32:00

2009-10-23T19:32:53Z

I don't feel real social today.
Then again, I haven't left my house since Monday.
Eh.

connavar @ 2009-10-21T20:38:00

2009-10-22T01:45:39Z

I want to turn the lights off and draw the curtains
pull my blanket to my chin and sleep sleep sleep

pretty dresses
pretty shoes
everything a man should buy for you

no more work, no more bills, dream dream dream
i have no sympathy for those without student loans

connavar @ 2009-10-20T12:49:00

2009-10-20T17:49:16Z

threw up all over a pile of dirty laundry
sick

connavar @ 2009-10-18T17:25:00

2009-10-18T22:32:43Z

I am happy, you are happy:
let us be, happy together!
Whether the weather is rainy or sunny
I will always be your funny honey bunny!

connavar @ 2009-10-16T14:16:00

2009-10-16T19:16:46Z

cold shower, bank, fat stack, stay hyped and not go home right away.
go home right and save money and read...
hmm

connavar @ 2009-10-14T20:51:00

2009-10-15T01:55:20Z

i need to get into
skip the list
a lot of things

cold shower cause water heater is broken
feels like i'm finally getting some feeling back in my junk
oww my junk

keeping the mind clear is facing opposition
especially since i think i'm gonna quit smoking for the winter
maybe
and quit drinking, as much at least, if not entirely so
these are bad ideas probably

connavar @ 2009-10-13T20:28:00

2009-10-14T01:30:45Z

cold all the time
and tired all the time
but i stay up later at night
cause if i go to sleep at night
then i gotta get up and go to work
and that's not something i want to do
well, not something i want to do anymore

connavar @ 2009-10-12T22:26:00

2009-10-13T03:26:36Z

couple more weeks of work
i can handle it
right?